Friday Fish Time: How to train your dragonfish

Common Name: Threadfin Dragonfish. Scientific Name: Echiostoma barbatum. Family: Melanostomiidae. Image: Australian Museum

Suit up, knights in neoprene armour. If you’re looking to impress a potential mate, look no further than the potential of a dragonfish. Luckily we have some tips on how to catch and train your dragonfish.

1. Dragonfish live in the dimly-lit twilight zone, like 200 or so metres down. Contact James Cameron to hitch a ride.
2. It’s dark down there. Take your fashionable underwater headtorch.
3. Look, shiny object! Don’t be distracted by the dragonfish’s illuminated barbel. Repeat after me: I am not prey. I am not prey.
4. Steer clear of it’s numerous large pointy teeth.
5. Raise your lance (or speargun) and take accurate aim. Dragonfish are around 30cm in length.
6. Stick it with the pointy end.
7. Train* your dragonfish to woo your desired mate with it’s mesmerising blue and pinkish light. Hello ladies.
8. You now rule the ocean.

Dragonfish have never been known to breathe fire.

* We recommend consulting the works of Pavlov